Lakkas retelling of the Freemans Game…

Racal Decca endured a torrid time at the Tolworth Arms Park on Saturday. Unable to field a 15s side,
Racal Decca had to start slightly handicapped with people playing out of position (a far cry from the
heroics the previous week).

Freemans 2s got to work early and Decca knew it was going to be a long day in the office (like Boris
every morning when he opens a new TAB on BBC news). The first half Racal Decca struggled to get out of first gear or build any momentum. Old Freemans 2s asserted their dominance from the outset.

Uncharacteristically the tackling wasn’t up to the normal standard. The away team were seemingly
able to make line breaks after the 3 rd phase of contact…. It can be said (without pleading the fifth)
that the holes in the defence for Racal Decca, were as porous as rusted Victorian pipe being held
together with nothing but tears from a herd of cows on their way to the abattoir and one thousand
bandages. (Cow tears have an adhesive property, look it up).

If England Rugby could get tips on having a dominant scrum for their six nations campaign, they
should come and watch Racal Decca at work. Unfortunately the England team would soon leave to
Tolworth and get a 281 bus back to Twickenham when they viewed the lineout. With people playing
out of position it wasn’t going to be a spectacle…. Unfortunately Racal Decca didn’t succeed in one
clean take off the top.

The front row this week was comprised of Eddie, Robbie Savage and Matty Taylor. They were backed
up in the engine room by father phelan junior and stroudheisen. Bo-Jangles and Morgan the calf
made up the rest of the contingent.

The second half continued with Freeman’s utter dominance. Racal Decca’s passing (and catching)
were not pretty viewing. Scrum half quincey went off with a head injury and Morgz the calf slotted in
scrum half for the remainder. It wasn’t until late in the second half where a bit of resurgence came out. Racal Decca were starting to make brilliant line breaks, but support was very patchy at best.

Key moments from the second half:

• Father Phelan Jnr almost scoring to mark the birth of his nephew
• Stroudy, Ricky Ross, Eddy making lovely line breaks
• Matty T offering to take the opposition second row and 2 of his team mates to dinner in the car park… (Matty defending the integrity and health of his younglings). All within earshot of the referee
• Bo-Jangles (Luke) unscripted nose check up
• Hippie Mike’s war cry after carrying about 3 freemans players on his shoulders screaming:
• “WHO IS WITH ME!?!!!?!” (Everyone missed a great chance to respond “I am with you sire! To the death”)
• Robert the Bruce’s drop goal conversion
• Fix-it Wren’s tackling and passing.

A sombre examination for Racal Decca as they shipped 70+ points…. The appreciation of having a
backrow (as well as a full squad) will never be questioned ever again!

Racal Decca Team: 15; – German Larz, 14; – Unavailable, 13; – Hippie Mike, 12; – Unavailable, 11;
Spanish Jorge (Stoneleigh George) – 10; – Holmes & Watson, 1; Matt “meet me in the car park” Taylor – 2; – Robert the Bruce, 3; Eddy Deji 4; – Father Phelan Jnr; 5; – Stroudenheisen – 6; – Morgz the calf 7; – Unavailable, 8; – Bo-Jangles (Luke Roberts), 9;- “no-9” dancing feet Quincey
Tries: Freemans Flanker
Conversions: Holmes and Watson
Head Coach and Director of Rugby: Matty Taylor
MOTM: Hippe Mike (for his frustrated rallying cry “Who is with me!?!?!”)
DOTD: N/A
Next game: TBC (please confirm availability)