Men trickled steadily into changing room #9 at Kingston University Sports Ground as late morning turned to early afternoon on Saturday 2nd November 2024. Some would be debutants for the club known to many as just ‘Decca’, all would be debutants for the club’s second incarnation: Surbiton Decca RFC.
Throughout the day there were icons of new and old. The ownership and management of the pitches now falls to the local uni, and nextdoor is run by Goals soccer centre. But as I walked from the bus stop I noticed a black gate with gold lettering ‘R.D.S.& S.C.’ : Racal Decca Sports & Social Club. Chaps rocked up in the new Surbiton Decca stash bearing the new name and logo (as you will see on the digital medium you read this on). But the jersey we pulled on that afternoon was vintage Racal Decca.
The afternoon ahead of us and the hardy spectating supporters was effectively a ‘Triple Header’ offering three mini games for the price of none: 1) Surbiton Decca vs Civil Service Barbarians, 2) Surbiton Decca vs Mitcham & Carshalton 2XV, 3) C.S. Barbarians v M&C 2XV. Each match would nominally last 30 minutes and feel like 60.
Decca ‘warmed up’ for the opener in a fashion typical of a social team: some lads nobley trying to run contact drills, a smattering kicking a ball about, a few cautiously mobilising anatomical areas of most concern, a handful exercising their jaws with the Decca friends and family who came out to watch. Eventually all were corralled into a spot of touch before the referee summoned us for kick off.
Before this, both teams in Game 1 formed their own line either side of halfway as CS Barbarians captain Ash delivered a moving speech memorialising the tragic loss of two Baa-Baas players in recent years, followed by a minute’s silence impeccably observed by all. It was a sobering moment which, in spite of the sadness, affirms what we were all there for: to have fun, live our lives fully and to share our time and energy with others while we can.
Now I must admit I write this report weeks after the event so my recollection of events, and who did what, is as obscure as the strategic vision of the Welsh Rugby Union. I am also not Decca’s longtime writer, El Capitano Larry, so excuse any lack of flair that you are accustomed to (is this like Marcus Smith being subbed off for George Ford?). What follows is a general summary and not a play-by-play review a la Nick Mullins.
The opening five seconds of Game 1 was a reminder to any in doubt that this was not an international Test match: Decca kick off, Barbarians immediately knock on. The Decca pack started proceedings as it meant to go on through the afternoon with a powerful, shunting scrum. Dominant scrummaging was a consistent source of success regardless of who actually made up the 8 and in what order. Scholars of classics may think of the Ship of Theseus (and scholars of classic television may think of Trigger’s Broom).
The Barbarians (aided in numbers by Northolt RFC) looked to utilise large ball carriers to spearhead their attacks. Despite Decca’s lack of contact practice, game time and all-round conditioning, our defensive efforts resembled the drink of choice in the pub later: stout. The centre partnership of Ross and Niall stood out as a source of strength in repelling the Barbarian hordes. Perhaps the BBC should commission a buddy cop comedy-drama for the duo? Plan B in defence was to rely on fullback debutant Dan (playing with both his brother Tom, and El Presidente father Roland for the first time) who offered stiff ripostes to intruders threatening the wagons.
The ball, which I think could aptly be described as ‘moist’, gave unhelpful answers to the well-formulated questions both sides were asking of it in attack. Spillages were plentiful providing scrums (which helped Decca regardless of who had the feed) and breathers (which helped everyone regardless of team, colour, creed, faith or body shape).
Penalties were also in high supply thanks in part to: laws which we can’t all recall (some very new, some that have been around since the Theresa May PM years), being too knackered to get lower in the tackle, the cruel interventions of a higher power. Decca was the net recipient of penalties which allowed us to gain territory through the cultured left foot of Woody, Chairman of the Board. Line outs however were anyone’s guess who’d win the ball, but at least we were marching up field more than the oppo. The Decca subs bench (yes, we actually had reserves) was in frequent rotation too which helped with energy levels.
Eventually, perhaps half-way into the match, the deadlock was broken by the effervescent back-row Ben bursting through from close range. Conversion ably slotted by Detective Sergeant Niall. Later, in the final play before full time, the Barbarians hard efforts were rewarded by a break out wide from halfway leading to a try. Cruelly for them, the conversion was missed giving Decca a 7-5 victory.
There was little rest for the wicked as Game 2 beckoned for the home team in blue and white hoops. Mitcham & Carshalton had been warming up and watching Game 1 and looked fresh and keen. Decca, however, were by now steadily purring along like a well-oiled 2008 Peugeot 206; not looking to race away down the A3 and draw attention, but competently able to ferry Great Auntie Mabel to and from Sunday services and the big Tesco.
The small yet mighty club impressed with further solidity in the scrum and defence, this time boosted by an improved appetite and aptitude in attack. Scores came from debutant Tom (other son of El Presidente) scampering down the wing to finish off a decent few phases of play in the opposition half. I’m informed El Capitano Larry also scored (how and when I don’t know).
In the dying minutes of the game, acting 9 George showed great foresight to observe the absence of a full back deep behind Mitcham’s defensive line. He maniacally waved a recently invented hand signal (not dissimilar to the distress sign in Team America: World Police) to his back line indicating an intent to kick. A cute box kick ensued, followed by multiple cries of ‘No!’ by teammates who correctly observed a giant overlap out wide. The pursuit was led by resident hound back-row Ben and leader of the hunt George. Ben won the bobbling ball contest and hared for the try line, cruelly hauled down a foot short. George collected the gift and flopped over the line for Decca’s third try of the mini-match. The conversion, like the previous two, was made by Chairman of the Board Woody. Returning to his own half, George, with great wit, asked “who shouted no?”. Full time followed shortly later.
Two victories for Surbiton Decca, followed by a win for the CS Barbarians in Game 3. The next mission was to lay claim to as much space as possible in the busy Black Lion pub in Surbiton for post-match festivities and to watch England predictably lose to New Zealand on the telly. The pub was well attended by Decca players, friends and family as well as members of our visiting teams.
The day was a roaring success on and off the field. Winning both mini matches was a pleasant bonus. The club got a men’s contact match on. We hosted the match. We fielded a full XV. We had a bench. We held a great social afterwards. The Surbiton era of Decca has truly commenced. We look forward to keeping up the momentum through our regular Saturday morning non-contact sessions (walking and running touch rugger) and into our next men’s XV game away at our friends Old Suttonians on Saturday 30th November 2024 at the Sutton Grammar Sports Ground, Northey Avenue, Cheam. We look forward to seeing lots of you there on the field and the sidelines.
Summary:
Game 1: Decca 7 – 5 CS Barbarians
Game 2: Decca 21 – 0 M&C 2XV
Squad list: 20+ fine gentlemen (I can’t fully recall, I’ll use GDPR as an excuse)
Man of the matches: Detective Sergeant Niall.
D*ck of the day: No one apparently.
Game 1 Try scorer: Back-row Ben
Game 3 Try scorers: El Capitano Larry, Tom (son of El Presidente), Acting 9 George.